Sunday, June 3, 2007
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its 4am right now. i'm doing nothing. i'm done trying to study when i know i can't. i can't find the mood to study anymore. my mind is so filled with the flashbacks of our memories. it used to be sweet, really sweet. your love brought me something very extraordinary. and that is something only my heart can explain. i drown myself to study everyday, i tried to pretend i was myself in front of everyone else, i nv felt shittier in my life. i need u so much. please dont go i can't and im not prepared to see u go. i don't wanna mess things up by letting my emotions take control of me. your postcards mean the most to me. the words written on it makes me feel so much alive. but no. that was before. it feels like hell if i read it again. i dreamed of u, i cried in my sleep, was it a nightmare or a sweet dream i wonder. why does the thought of u take control of everything. i asked myself how did i end up loving u so deeply? i guess nobody knows. not even myself. and here in my heart theres a picture of her. i really wish i can tell u how much i love u everytime u strike my mind. and it happens to me all the time.